“I found out I was HIV positive in November of 2011. I have no idea what the circumstances were surrounding my infection. What I do know is I was very insecure and had very low self esteem leading up to it. I'd met a guy and started to have strong feelings for him. It was then, I decided to go and get tested. It was very hard to tell him I was indeed positive, but his compassion towards me and my status was a shock to my system! We broke up, but I gained an unshakable confidence in myself. I love him to this day.
I had HUGE trepidations about starting medication. I was scared for a million reasons, the biggest being side effects. I had this idea that I would get worse before I got better. Back in 2011 I was given medication, (Complera) which I never started. In the interim, I sought therapy and kept in close contact with the doctors I met. I finally started treatment 6 years after being diagnosed. I started taking Triumeq in February of 2017. It's 1 a day pill and there are no side effects. I grew up! I found a power in myself and felt like a new dude. Also, I now know my status, so it makes the dating game slightly easier, psychologically.
My experience has been many guys say they are on PrEP and are not. Same with Poz guys that say they are std free. I remember the fear and the guilt I felt those 6 years that I hadn't a clue what my status was, it was hell, mentally. I still prefer not to use condoms, but not opposed to strapping up! I want to find a partner I can be sexually uninhibited with, while also being on top of our health. I am still a work in progress.”
Myles, 39, undectectable. Long Island City, Queens, NY. DJ and performance artist